Travelling With Kids After Divorce

Daughter sits on mother's lap as they relax on a beach.

Taking short trips or extended vacations with your family is always a fun, memorable experience. Everyone looks forward to getting out of the house for a few days, whether it’s someplace an hour away or on the other side of the world. With all of the anticipation and excitement leading up to a trip, it is essential that you remember to iron out all of the details first.

For divorced parents, just packing up and going on your way is not likely how you’ll be able to go about travelling with your children. In a divorced family situation, there are often guidelines and stipulations within a custody order that lay out the details by which parents must follow in order to take their children on a trip.

Knowing the details regarding travelling with your children after divorce is important so that you'll be able to focus more of your energy on giving your children a vacation that they'll always remember.

Plan Ahead

Travelling with children after divorce is certainly not an uncommon occurrence. It happens all the time, although it often calls for some additional pre-planning as the trip is being organised. Every situation is unique, but one good place for every divorced or separated parent to start when planning to travel with their children is to review their parenting plan.

Review your parenting agreement for information regarding holidays and travelling with your children. There may be details included in the agreement about when each parent is allotted time to travel or take vacations with your children. If you wish to travel with your children over a more popular vacation time such as spring break or the December holiday season, be aware of any prior arrangement you and your co-parent made on how those times are to be divided over the years. It's common for co-parents to be on a schedule that calls for them to rotate custody over those dates each year.

If you have a trip planned for a time in which you are not scheduled to have parenting time, you should discuss this with your co-parent before making any travel arrangements. You may consider discussing a parenting time swap so that you can accommodate your trip while working to ensure that your co-parent is able to spend their time with your children before or after your trip.

If you and your co-parent cannot work out an adequate parenting time swap, try not to sweat it. It's always a disappointment when plans don't work out, yet it's crucial to consider how conflict could factor into these plans. Allowing disagreements over this trip turn into a full-blown conflict only complicates your co-parenting and could even ruin the trip for you and your children. Instead, consider reformulating your travel plans for dates on which you do have parenting time already scheduled.

In contrast, if your travel plans were for an event that you feel is absolutely vital for your children to attend like a significant family event, talk to your attorney or other family law practitioners to see what your options may be moving forward. They may be able to offer guidance to you on how to handle this situation.

Reaching an agreement with your co-parent on travel dates is a critical first step in planning trips with your children after divorce. Yet just as important as deciding on your travel schedule is ensuring that you have the right documentation to help your trip run as smooth as possible.

Get Your Documentation in Order

Having the right documentation for your children in order before your trip is essential. No matter where you're travelling, thoroughly document your travel agreements and plans for your trip. This will include your travel schedule, names of those travelling with you, details on your methods of transport, information about where you'll be staying, and other key details about where your children will be throughout your trip.

Make sure that you and your co-parent have access to review this information before, during, and after your trip. Consistently documenting your travel schedule and any correspondence with your co-parent related to these plans can help ensure that your trip is a successful one and not leave you running into questions or issues later on.

Travel Permissions and Security

Nowadays, travelling with children is more common than ever, even for divorced families. Also common today are children with dual citizenship due to their parents' nationalities. Whether co-parents are still living in the same town or different countries, as long as each parent upholds their well-being and safety, children deserve to spend time with both of their parents regardless of their individual locations.

However, this can often be easier said than done. The further away parents live from one another, the more complicated it can be to arrange for their children to travel to see each of them. Beyond the costs and travel logistics involved when sending a child abroad, there may also be a risk factor felt by one or both parents.

One particular concern that a divorced parent may have when sending their child overseas to their co-parent's home country is that the co-parent will not comply with the parenting agreement during the trip, whether it is by limiting the child's contact with the other parent or—in extreme cases—not allowing the child to return to their home after the trip.

When travelling alone with your child, it is recommended that either parent acquire a letter of consent, sometimes referred to as a Child Travel Consent document. This document will serve as proof that both parents have granted permission for their child to travel with whomever is escorting them, even if it is a parent or legal guardian. 

If you are not traveling with your children and do have concerns about this trip and about your co-parenting upholding your parenting agreement throughout it, speak to your lawyer. They will be able to offer you the best guidance related to how you can ensure your children's safety and safe return home after the trip. If you have greater concerns about your child leaving New Zealand you may be able to apply to the Court for an order that would prevent their ability to leave. Again, your lawyer will be able to provide clear details to you as to what you are able to do in this situation, so don't hesitate to reach out to them for assistance. 

Plan for Fun

With all of these details that you have to work out, you may have already forgotten that you're about to set off on an adventure with your children, one that they are probably starting to get really excited about. For many, family trips and vacations only come every once in a while–and maybe even less often for divorced families.

Wherever your travels take your family, do what you can to make it extra enjoyable for your children. Have some games and snacks packed in your bag to help quell boredom or hunger during long drives or flights. An iPod and headphones or a tablet equipped with a few movies will also help get everyone through the journey.

Once you've reached your destination, it'll help to have some kind of a schedule to keep your children on. In particular, try to keep your children on a bedtime or nap schedule that they are used to. It will go for meals and homework. Finally, try and help your children learn something new while on vacation by visiting museums, local monuments, or even showing them things relevant to their own family's history.

All in all, travelling with children after divorce might sometimes feel complicated, but in the end, having a fun trip with your children that they'll always remember makes it worth the trouble.

 

Regarding COVID-19: Information related to the pandemic is evolving rapidly. Please refer to your attorney or other legal practitioners in your area to answer your specific questions related to family law and the COVID-19 crisis.


NOTE: Many state and federal laws use terms like ‘custody’ when referring to arrangements regarding parenting time and decision-making for a child. While this has been the case for many years, these are not the only terms currently used to refer to these topics.

Today, many family law practitioners and even laws within certain states use terms such as ‘parenting arrangements’ or ‘parenting responsibility,’ among others, when referring to matters surrounding legal and physical child custody. You will find these terms as well as custody used on the OurFamilyWizard website.