A Dozen New Year's Resolutions for the Divorced Parent

new year's resolutions for the divorced parentAs the new year approaches the age old tradition of setting a resolution to improve yourself is also approaching.  What will your new year's resolution be this year. 

If you are a parent that has recently been through a divorce or separation, you may want to try something other than loosing weight or quitting smoking this year.  This may be your year to set a resolution focused on improving your child's life.

Here is a brief list of some ideas to make your co-parenting relationship better in 2010:

  1. Keep every door open - make yourself accessible to your children
  2. Swallow my ego - put your feelings aside to better your children
  3. Maintain discipline - children need to retain consistency, even under two roofs.
  4. Invest time - children like to know that they are a priority in your life.
  5. Show them hope - Show that even after a divorce or separation you can still have a healthy relationship with the other parent that is built on respect.
  6. Avoid playing the blame game - Don't blame the other parent for all issues, take responsibility for your actions and their impact.
  7. Respect your spouse - Children need to see that even in difficult situations you can remain as adult as possible.
  8. Respect your child - Don't use your child as the messenger or spy, let your kids be kids.
  9. Tell your child you love them - It is important to for children to get reinforced regularly, especially during tough emotional times.
  10. Keep your promises - Children need a trusting relationship, if you make your child a promise, make sure you follow through on it.
  11. Focus on the future - Don't get caught up on what has happened, focus on what will happen and this will help you act responsibly.
  12. Letting go of your anger toward your ex-spouse - Move forward boldly into this new year rather than still cling to the hurts of the past.